Why I Disagree with Nihilism

Even though nihilism appears to be true and we acknowledge that, we cannot live that way, at least not purely. I wonder if we’d end up living as robots who believe in nothing and abandon all subjective value judgements. I don’t think its possible because it conflicts with our being human. We have instincts and feelings and we’re just programmed a certain way.

All the absolutes we set up, have their own seed of destruction in them. Its up to the individual to create meaning. Absolute values don’t exist, so we create our own and take responsibility for them. I’ll get bored and depressed if everything is defined as nothing even though it technically is because, what now? I have 50 more years to go. Shit.

With values, come morality. The idea of values being subjective is a denial of the need or possibility of morality. Since any value can be accepted without consequence, there is no guide to determine which values should be accepted. Since there is no objective moral standard, reason cannot be used to determine how one should act. Emotions are all that is left to make the decision, and subsequently, one is ruled by one’s emotions. Disaster. Hitler.

A second consequence to espousing subjective values is a demand for no moral judgment. Since morality is subjective, and right or wrong are not real, it makes no sense to judge others by your own personal moral whims. And when moral judgment is not practiced, justice is impossible. Crimes cannot be punished. The innocent cannot be protected. It is easy to see who benefits from this policy and what becomes of our society. Your family gets murdered and your sister gets raped for no reason because, fuck morality. You can do whatever you want. The world turns into chaos and at the end of the day, your life gets shittier than it already is and we try to compensate that by raping more children for our own entertainment.


They say, “Look before you leap.” So look. But do not look for too long. Do not look into the void of uncertainty trying to predict each and every possible outcome, to evaluate every possible mistake, to prevent each possible failure. Look for the opportunity to leap, and leap faster than your fear can grab you. Leap before you talk yourself out of it, before you convince yourself to set up a temporary camp that turns into a permanent delay on your journey into your own heart.”
― Vironika Tugaleva

The Grass Is Not Always Greener On The Other Side

The grass always starts out a nice and shiny green but will begin to wear a bit with use. Then, it still needs to be maintained in order to stay a nice shade of green. The dulled green (or even brown) grass on our current side of the fence would be greener if we focus enough to nurture it. The shiny green grass on the other side of the fence is our wish for our internal selves — to be happy, unscathed, and fully satisfied. The truth is, as human beings, we are all in some ways less than perfect, and therefore, the shiny grass is an illusion. Our job is to keep the grass as green as possible, which may take some outside help. But no matter what, it won’t remain as green as the moment we first set foot on it.
The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. No, not at all. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered, nurtured and growing. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you are.

Vulnerability is often mocked in contemporary society and yet it is not weakness. Instead, it is the willingness to drop the facade to experience your feelings and life happenings at every part of your being. 

Night Workers

If I were a poet or a film maker, people who worked in the middle of the night. That’s what I would write about. Men who loaded trains, emergency room nurses with their gentle hands. Night clerks in hotels, cabdrivers, prostitutes, waitresses in all-night coffee shops. They knew the world, how precious it was when a person remembered their name, the comfort of a rhetorical question, “How’s it going, how’s the kids?” They knew how long the night was. They knew the sound life made as it left. Night workers lived without illusions, they wiped dreams off counters, they loaded freight. They could appreciate the world differently.


Whenever people call me weird or strange or things along those lines, my reply is always “you’re goddamn right” or something similar sounding.  I accepted that I was a geek for certain things and that made me different, and I became proud of it. I knew what I liked. I knew what made me happy and how I had fun. So go on, be a weirdo. If that is synonymous with being yourself, don’t ever feel shame for it.