I was watching a documentary about a chef who lives in Patagonia and he said something that really struck a chord with me, “I seldom invite people to have lunch and dinner with me, but they are really chosen. Because I can’t spend time with people anymore that I don’t enjoy. I make choices and that’s the beautiful thing about growing up, learning to say no. In a nice way, but you say no.”
I think that’s something that took a long time for me to realise. There are a lot of people who I have wonderful memories with, who I still love a whole lot, but they don’t necessarily fit in my life anymore because we’ve simply grown apart. And it’s nice to be able to acknowledge that they had a big impact on me while also knowing it’s okay to say goodbye.
There are certain people from my past that I’ll always carry with me. And it’s really hard for someone to leave that kind of impact on me; it’s more of a downfall, but I’m very good at moving on. At forgetting.
But there are a few whose presence hit me so hard that they are permanently engrained into the person I am today. The type of person who influenced me so much that I’ll see something specific and think of them and only them. Or I’ll say a word that only exists in my vocabulary because they used to say it all the time. Or on a deeper level, who inspire the way I live simply by the way they live.
And for me, nearly all of those people are no longer around me. And I never know who they are until they are gone. But I look back and sort of view them as teachers, in a weird way. Because I am undoubtedly an amalgamation of those few voices mixed with my own strong sense of self. I don’t know, I just think it’s interesting that some people we once knew we would barely recognize in a grocery store but others, others burn so brightly, so constantly at the center of who we are that no amount of time could make us forget them.